production, why not throw in a cute little plug, right?) the less convincing the entire affair becomes. Looney Tunes cartoons – since Gravity is a Warner Bros. The whole film is cardboard from start to finish, and the more space debris and interior cabin junk Cuarón throws at the camera (including a bubblehead Marvin the Martian doll from the Warner Bros. The special effects are state of the art, but who cares? It seems altogether fitting that the illusion of depth afforded by 3D Imax projection fits Gravity like a glove, since the film itself aspires to thematic depth, and yet has none at all. But Clooney’s phantasmal appearance gives Bullock the courage, and the knowledge – somehow – to carry on, and after more “harrowing” escapes from one craft to another, Bullock triumphantly touches down back on earth.

There is, of course, the obligatory hallucination sequence in which Bullock imagines Clooney has mysteriously returned from deep space to assist her, again even more predictably during a suicide bid by Bullock, who feels the situation is hopeless. The secondary characters are killed off, Clooney and Bullock are forced to survive with minimal resources, and about a third of the way through the film, Clooney nobly sacrifices himself so that Bullock can have a better shot at making it safely back to earth. George Clooney (I’m not going to bother with character names, because there’s no characterization) is a veteran astronaut on a supposedly routine space maintenance mission, along with rookie science officer sidekick Sandra Bullock and some other peripheral characters, when disaster hits in the form of space debris, wrecking their craft.

Yet Gravity is a failure from start to finish.

Such was the case today with Gravity (2013), the latest feature from director Alfonso Cuarón, which has been playing to rapturous reviews and packed audiences on the festival circuit, and is now racking up record grosses in general release. I’m always in a bad mood after I see a bad movie, especially when I have hopes that the film will be an altogether different experience.

Gravity 2013 movie marvin the martian